Wegmans & Channing Tatum

Welllllllll this post is coming to you much later than I planned.  It seems like when I get the free time I earn my title as Queen of Distractions.  TLC has a power over me.  I think we need to break up.

We have been enjoying being with family for sure.  What a luxury it is after living out of state for years.

The Zess men enjoying their barley sandwiches

Maggie is a fan of going to Grandma and Papa's (my parents) house.  Why? Well other than Grandma doing anything she wants, Papa gives her treats. Check this one out.  As big as a dessert plate? Check. Lots of chocolate? Check. The turkey is made out of frosting? Check. Oh, Papa Papa Papa. You can't see it but I'm hanging my head and shaking it.

A typical Rochester day for Maggie and I include getting out of the house every morning.  EVERY morning.  We both need it.  To ease some anxiety, I make sure to have a plan the night before.  We've been doing things with some former Rochester friends, which has been comforting.  Since there is already a relationship established there, it takes off a lot of pressure.  

There are places in Rochester that I've never explored, seeing as how I haven't lived here with a child of my own.  My GPS is my buddy right now because I have forgotten the best ways to get places! 

Speaking of Rochester places, I get Wegmans back.  Hello old friend.  The things is though, I don't like having to learn a new grocery store.  I was comfortable with my North Ave Hannaford.  (Did you see how I spelled the name of that store, Vermonters?! THERE IS NO "S" ON THE END!)  Yes, I used to plan my grocery list according to isles.  Stop making fun of me and think about how much sense that makes!  I never have to go back to the other end of the store because I forgot something and when you have a toddler with you, that's HUGE! So now, although I love Wegmans, I have to learn it.  I shop at the store that I worked at in college, but everything in there has changed.  And the other thing is that eventually we will be moving to the east side of Rochester, which means -yup, you guessed it- I will have to learn a new Wegmans AGAIN!  I know, I know, people are starving in Africa.  This is really not a huge problem.  But I'm just sayin.'

  

I have hit a rough patch this week.  Things are slowly sinking in three weeks later.  To be honest, I still feel like I'm waiting to go back to Vermont.  Some days this move feels permanent and I try to embrace that and some days I have to remind myself that this must now become home.  I feel as though many people expected this move to be less tough because I was born and raised here.  I went to college here.  I got married here.  My family is here.  But, this has to become home to me all over again.  I'm not who I was when this used to be home and I was at a different stage of life.  I try to remember to be patient with myself.  I can recall when I was struggling with postpartum depression, I said to my therapist through sobs "My baby is nine weeks old.  Shouldn't I be better by now?!?!"  Little did I know that Maggie would be two years old before I felt healed.  I have learned to not put a timeline on my feelings.  

I was having a crappy day this past week.  The kind where you just want to crawl back in bed and start all over.  I wanted my Vermont family.  I wanted to be back in my perfectly cozy condo.  I wanted to see the mountains that I fell in love with.  I wanted to laugh with my MOPS girls.  I wanted to hear the songs from my church's praise team.  I wanted to be back where I felt at home.  For some reason I was the one who put Maggie to bed that night.  This is something that Kyle usually does, but that night it was me.  I was rocking her and we were talking about her day.  We were silent for a while.  I kissed her head and smelled her hair for the millionth time, and she said "I want Maggie house.  Maggie house far away, Mama." I couldn't help but well up with tears and agree with her.  

I am taking things one day at a time, and as depression/anxiety has taught me, even one hour at a time.  Rochester hasn't earned the title of "home" yet, and that's okay.  No timelines, right?

I came across this on Pinterest the other day ...

Sorry about the blurriness.  I used my phone to take a pic of my iPad.  Enough said.  The quote above says "When you are having a bad day, good friends say 'feel better.' Best friends send videos of Channing Tatum stripping."  

Let's just say that I had quite a few pictures of Mr. Tatum sent to my phone. Maybe next week I won't need him.  ;)